Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I smell stomach acid.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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