With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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