He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
