I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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