Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
