My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
