Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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