Yo dont text me then not text me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
