Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
