You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
