trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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