Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
