We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
