how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
