Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize