DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
