Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
