kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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