Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
