Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
