So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
