and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
