well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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