The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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