I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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