It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
