i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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