okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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