my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
