We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
