so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
