Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
