Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
