you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
