just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
