You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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