I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
