I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
