I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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