he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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