i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
