Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
