my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
