I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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