'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
