I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
