puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
