Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
