By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
