She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
