I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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