just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize