I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
