this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
